Legal Questions? / Legal Answers!
A Little "Too" Much" About
Me
"I am the proud Dad of 4 great kids
who use to keep me very busy with their own
"issues," like school, wrong choices,
and yes even the law at times. I am pretty
sure if your a parent, you can relate. The
world is not easy for them and I have noticed
that this generation doesn't seem to question
as much as we used to. Maybe having the answers
before the questions is what I am trying
to do here at this site?"
I spent Twelve years as a State of Maine
Foster Parent and Twenty-one years as a Loss
Prevention Supervisor. I was married at 21
and divorced at 24. I became a "week-end"
Dad for two of my children until they grew
up.
My third child was kept from me until I received
a call from D.H.H.S. telling me that my ex-girlfriend
was being investigated. They also told me
that holding my child from seeing me was
a form of child abuse. I hadn't heard from
my child's Mom in 3 years. All the Christmas
gifts and cards I had sent, were always sent
back to me. But I received a call from her
the very next day after the D.H.H.S. call.
The investigation ended up being nothing,
but not to me. The older I got, the more
I learned. filing the Parental Rights &
Responsibility Order gave me visitation,
my child's school schedule, and all Doctor's
reports.
My forth child, I actually received "physical"
custody of after my second divorce. I retained
"physical" custody and did many
court battles to keep it. During our battles,
I learned a lot about the legal aspects and
laws regarding Divorce, Custody and Child
Support. I had to beat two "trumped
up" Protection From Abuse charges, which
I did. But that also fueled my desire to
learn more about about PFA's. I saw first
hand how easily they could be granted and
how easy they could be used to get what one
wanted. On this site I cover both sides of
a Protection From Abuse charge, not just
one.
I will say this though, as hard as the battles
were between us, I really had nothing but
respect for my ex-wife during them. If she
hadn't fought so hard, I would have wondered
why. But when your fighting to "win"
you sometimes lose sight of what it is your
"winning." I finally came to the
realization that we were both the parents
here. Not just one! We settled on joint custody
with a 50/50 visitation schedule. I did two
years of school drop offs and pick-ups in
another town, before she ended up living
right across the street from me. That was
great. Let me tell you, having both parents
who keep the communication open and who realize
it is all about the kids, helps. So I compromised
and learned some more legal information.
A win, win!
My four kids are now grown adults with children
of their own. My child support balance with
D.H.H.S. I am proud to say is now..zero.
My relationship with all my children's Mothers? I invite all three to
summer parties and holidays.
In 1998 I had my first grand child. I didn't
know it. Neither did my son. Two years later
he was contacted by D.H.H.S. and a DNA test
was done. ( he was the second person tested,
the first one was the boyfriend, who left
right after he found out he wasn't the father
)
After my son signed the parental paperwork
with D.H.H.S. he went back to work out on
the ocean.
I probably saw my grand child three times
in the three years I knew she was my grand
daughter. It wasn't that we didn't try. Both
my son and I had a hard time keeping track
of where the Mom was. I was told she had
a drug habit and that kept her on the move.
In 2003, while reading the newspaper I came
across an article that said the Police had
pulled over a car on the turnpike in Kennebunk.
Seems the passenger got mad and decided to
get out and walk down the Maine Turnpike.
The Police arrested her and found a couple
of bags of crack. That women was my grand-daughter's
Mother.
That was the last straw. I now had the legal
knowledge to do what was necessary,
After calling anyone I could that knew anything
about my grand daughter, I finally found
her. Her mother had gone on to have a set
of twin girls and a little boy with another
man. His mother was taking care of them all, including my granddaughter. This women
took care of all those kids while the Mom
collected the benefits from D.H.H.S. When
I talked to her she admitted to me that she
was afraid that the Mom would take her grand-children
if she complained. She had been bringing
up these four children for the past two years,
while D.H.H.S. gave the cash benefits and
the food stamps to the Mom.
Are you kidding me? Wasn't I already mad enough?
I told her I would help her to keep her grand
children, but I wanted guardianship of my
granddaughter..
My son was out on the ocean and I couldn't
get ahold of him.
So I filed for Emergency Guardianship of
my grand-daughter and for the grand mother
as well.
We both received Temporary Guardianship and
with went on to gain Full Guardianship of
all the children.
My grand-daughter is now 16 years old and
is an honor roll student and an all around
great kid!
I knew then, she was special and I have never
had a doubt, that I did the right thing.
.
My Final Thought...
"I'm really a pretty private person.
I have been on the internet since 1993, yet
many say they still can't find me. That's
on purpose. So, all this private information
I am giving you.. is not what I am all about.
But, if your going to read my thoughts and
words on this website. Then I feel this private
information is important for you to know.
It shows you why and where I got all my knowledge
from and why I fought so hard to gain it.
I don't have any degrees, or awards. I am
just an average guy who has a few Life Lessons
to share. Thanks...."
Lovely Counter